a week's difference

So, Mom is better. Not altogether back with it, but much better. She is talking more normally but weakley, she stands with assistance, she has just gotten to the point of being able to slowly feed herself, she is able to follow conversations a little better BUT she is still somewhat delusional, easily confused, unable to process, and a little more wearing on the nerves. At times she's a little giddy. She sounds like she's making really good sense, but then you realise she's making up what she doesn't know. She doesn't ever know the day or date. She thinks there are geese outside her hospital door and she wants me to catch one for her to cook for Christmas. If she were thinking logically she would conclude that, 'hey, maybe it doesn't make sense that geese would be running around a hospital hallway.' If she hears someone laugh in the hallway, she says it must be because a goose pooped on them. She insists that a few nights ago she went out the door to a table and chairs and sat for hours. Nevermind that at that point she couldn't even sit without being held up, she doesn't have a door that leads to the outside, and the only window just looks out onto the roof below. She insisted that I look out of the window at the table and chair that don't exist except in her mind. When I dutifully looked, told her that they were not there, she said someone must have stolen them.

The other night she managed to get her hospital gown off and throw it on the floor. I was tired, it was nearly 10pm, I covered her up and told the nurse on my way out that she was naked. I couldn't reason or wrestle with her any more that day. The next morning she was still naked. I got one of her pj tops from home and she put it on and seemed happier. I think it was partly a control issue which I understand from someone who hasn't had control of one single bodily function in 5 weeks, and it was partly the crazies and a sudden obsession with how much material was in one of the hospital gowns. She threw her sheets and pillows into the floor also, and refused a blanket. So, I took fleece throws from her house to her. She is sleeping under those. Tonight we managed to get a full set of pj's on her. The only other area that she can really control is her eating. She won't eat the hospital food or food that I take her. She wants her own cooking. I understand that. I really do. But it is like having a 3 year old with Alzheimers...part opp defiant, and part not thinking too well.

Today I was worn out. Yesterday too, come to think of it. But, there is an end in sight. The doctor said yesterday that he can envision her discharge after this weekend. I couldn't believe it. This has been going on so long it just seemed like it would continue forever. My life would consist of work and hospital. But, now I have hope that things will normalize at some point in the future. It sounds silly I know, but I hadn't really gotten my mind around the possibility that this wouldn't continue for the rest of my natural life. I think I'm really really tired and I'll feel better when I can relax a bit. And, I'm really grateful that mom is better.