waiting room hell

I'm still living in hospital-world. My mother has now had two surgeries and is in intensive care, although she is slowly getting better. For the first 12 days, she was in a regular hospital room, which meant that I had use of her bathroom, a couple of chairs, and plenty of space and privacy. I could shut out most of the noise and interact only when I chose. After the second surgery, she unexpectedly had some problems that required the ICU, so I lost the room, privacy, space, and relative quiet.

Now my days are spent in a waiting room designated for those with family in the ICU. Most families stay part of the day, or are there only just prior to the 4 visiting times allowed each day. I am there much more than that, usually about 11-12 hours a day. There are no barriers to the grief, tragedy and sadness that enter the room. There is (thankfully) some humor also.

One torn up family lost their 50-something year old mother suddenly after they found her collapsed and not breathing at home. Her very young adult children were uncomprehending and the uncomprehending father was struggling to comfort the children and manage his own grief. It was really sad to hear the father explain to one of the children about how the mother wanted cremation, despite their reservations about it. The family was called into the ICU cubicle to say their goodbyes. I saw the obit in the paper today.

One of the irritating things is the people who enter the waiting room and talk loudly into cell phones to tell everyone about what has happened to uncle, or grandmother or papa and then they have loud obnoxious cell phone rings that go off every few minutes. Most follow up the news with tales of their own poor health. Yesterday I was treated to too much information regarding yellow 'places' on a woman's 'laig'. And then overhearing the conversation from her father-in-law to someone on the other end of a cell phone about how she is 'slow' and that her husband didn't know she was that way until after he had married her. He probably has a clue about it now seeing as how she apparently let him lie on the floor in a diabetic coma for a couple of days before she thought of calling her father-in-law to see if she should do something for him. I'd say the man is lucky to be alive.

This morning I was treated to a lecture from an older man to an older woman about the state of her finances. Their relationship was unknown, but I'm guessing they were brother and sister. The man repeatedly told her she needed a budget and needed to stick to it. She didn't argue or disagree, but somehow at her age I don't think she's likely to change her ways.

This evening I heard about a "saddleback bloodclot in the lung" that is plaguing a man, but I also heard about the big dinner he was able to eat so I think he's probably going to make it. I even ran into someone I know, who is there because of his 98 year old mother, who is doing pretty well and seems likely to recover.

Hopefully, my own mother will get well enough this week to go into a regular room and I can have my little bit of space back. I also miss her ability to make the best of a bad situation. I'm having some trouble doing that on my own without her.